The Yakinton

Hey my love.

So the whole year has been freakishly weird about the radio. But recently it surpassed all limits. As hard as it is to say it - i will just say it outright, and i know how it sounds - i think we have some kind of connection over the radio. Every time i get in the car, if im feeling really intense, the lyrics of songs are just speaking to me in a freakishly weird way. Some examples - if im crying, but from my soul, then the song 'No woman, no cry' comes on. If I remember the bad times, that bohemian version of Somewhere over the rainbow, our wedding song, comes on, a memory of my happiest time. If i think i'll never love or be loved again the way i was with you, then the song Chiquitita comes on and these lyrics, which i've never paid attention to before, get delivered straight into my mind, and shot straight into my heart:

"Chiquitita, you and I know How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end You will have no time for grieving Chiquitita, you and I cry But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you Let me hear you sing once more like you did before Sing a new song, Chiquitita Try once more like you did before Sing a new song, Chiquitita"

And it always happens when im alone in the car. when im feeling intense. If i get into the car, kind of happy go lucky and i say - hey amir, play a song for me! and i go through the channels - there's nothing. it seems like intensity is a requisite. But if i'm not paying attention, just deeply lost and absorbed in my own thoughts or grief, then an unusally appropriate song is just there, in the background.

But the all-time weirdest thing happened a couple of weeks ago. And i have to tell it, in full detail, exactly as it happened - before it gets murky in my mind.

I was at the kibbutz with the kids. Your family and I were sitting around the kitchen table, talking about the 1 year memorial that we are planning (it iwll be on October 6th by the way - don't ask, balagan with the dates, lo nora :)

Idit asked me if you had a favorite song or some music you loved that we can play for the guests. I told them - well,truthfully - no. There was no special song or favorite band or music that you were really into. Don't get me wrong - you loved music. Whatever was playing or whatever you heard at any particular moment, you would enjoy, sing along and many times pull me to get up and dance with you. Your friends would give you random playlists to run with. But there was nothing that realy stood out as your type of music or musician or band.

But then - a thought crossed my mind. There WAS actually one song, one tiny little song that I realized you sang, maybe EVERY DAY for 9 years. I say for 9 years because it was from the day that Tomer was born. It was a little lullaby, a baby song. You sang it at every bedtime. You sang it during every drive in the car with the kids. i remember our drives home from the kibbutz, late at night, we would literally sing the song - you and i both- over and over and over again, ad nauseum, until the kids would fall asleep. sometimes we hardly noticed and just kept singing - just to make sure they'd stay sleeping. Another funny thing about that song - sometimes you got really into it. And then i'd just stare at you and realize that you had a beautiful deep, rich voice with perfect pitch. A couple times it crossed my mind that if you had wanted to, you could have had a singing carreer. Another hidden talent.

Anyway - back to the story, so I told Idit and the family, "Well, there is one song that amir always used to sing - but it's a baby lullaby, so it's probably not fitting. It's called "Pizmon la yakinton." They readily agreed it's not right for a memorial. Right. So I told them I'll think about it (remembering how hard it was to come up with a song for our wedding) and i got ready to take the 3 kids to the pool.

We got to the pool and it was the first time i actually swam with Lia. The last time she was in a pool was with you there at the kibbutz. This time it was just us. I couldn't sit back and let you do it. im the only one now.

Well, the kids had a blast. So did I. It was tiring, but fun. Then I saw Lia was getting sleepy so i took her out of the water and we sat under the shade of a tree near a picnic table. I immediately felt the weight of her body signalling she was out of batteries and then she curled up on me and fell into a deep sleep. It was around 5:00 pm, the sun was starting to go down. The shade felt so good. Lia felt so good. The grass felt so good on my feet. I could see the boys laughing and playing in the water.

I started thinking about you, and I could picture you there - on the grass, growing up... as a boy, a teenager, soldier. How many times were you there probably, in that exact same spot - 1000? i dunno, im bad with logical numbers. But I felt sooo good. so relaxed. like the breeze was just caressing and it felt so amazing to hold baby Lia and picture you there as a boy (im obsessed now with your bohood for some reason.)

AND THEN, suddenly, i noticed something. In my EARS. I started to listen carefully. And then i heard it. YES, IT WAS THE SONG. The lullaby, pizmon la yakington. PLAYING ON THE POOL SPEAKER. The song was already more than halfway through becuase i had missed it lost in thought. So i only heard it for 20-30 seconds and it was over. I hardly recognized it - it was a more modern version, sung by a smooth, older female singer. The next song was by the red hot chili peppers.

I was stunned. i burst into tears. I tried not to move or shake so not to wake Lia. Then the lifegaurd happened to walk right by. I called to him 'Hey! Excuse me - is this music from a playlist?" He said - no, it's the radio - galgalatz. I said "That's so weird - listen it just played that song - you know about the yakinton. He looked at me, waiting for it to make any sense. I said 'I was JUST TALKING about that song a few minutes ago." And he said, well, too bad you weren't talking about a million dollars.

OKKKK. well, little did he know, this was better than a million dollars. But still,....WTF?????

I went back to your parents house and i told everyone what happened. Idit imediately said that you were communicating with me. and we should play that song. Your mom and dad were less convinced. They're very practical. Your dad even said something like, "look - if it makes you feel good to make that connection..." and I had to cut him off and say NO! it's not "making me feel good!" Well, it IS. but it's also driving me crazy! im not looking for these things - im just reporting what happened, as it happened, and then wondering what kind of crazy coincidence could this be? Of course, it can be a coincidence. OF COURSE. But what a strange old lullaby song to play on modern radio? After it, they continued playing modern pop. I would always prefer the truth, no matter how barren and meaningless it is, to finding some sort of "meaning" that is fake. but what are the chances? what is the statistical probability of what just happened to happen?

SOOoooo, ok, i left the kibbutz thinking of this incident but also moving along.

Then a week or two later i started thinking of it again. I tried to find the song on youtube. i found a ton of versions of it, including a great one by Arik Einstein, but not one of them sounded like the short portion i heard at the pool. And i wanted to find that version so I could play it at the memorial. Hmm. now i was on a mission.

I called the radio station - galgalatz. i expected I'd have to go through a tortuous answering system that would take 1 hour before i got to speak to anyone. After the second ring, someone picked up - Hello?

I told them i was looking for a modern version of the Yakington song that i heard on their station. The woman put me straight though to the DJ.

The DJ played me two versions of the song over the phone. One was the original from the 60s. The other was some bizarre Indian version. Nope i said - those aren't it. He said these are the only ones the radio station can play.

Reluctantly, I hung up. I KNOW I heard that song! and it was a different version.

I sent two messages to the radio station - one on Facebook and one through their website. I immediately got answered by both of them. On Facebook, they sent me more versions of the song - none of them were it. Same with the email. But then i replied to the dude on email - i said "if this helps - the song played on your station in the north of Israel (emek israel, kibbutz bet alfa, around 5:00 in the evening on Saturday, (date)."

And he replied..."OH. given that information I looked it up - the version we played was by Yehudit Ravitz."

And so it was. And that's what i'll play at the memorial. It's not on Youtube so i cant post it here, but here is the lovely version, that sounds like amir singing, by arik einstein. Pay attention to the last stanza, keeping in mind that Yossi is in the process of creating a memorial garden for Amir.

LYRICS:

פזמון ליקינטון מילים: לאה גולדברג לילה לילה מסתכלת הלבנה בפרחים אשר הנצו בגינה, בציצי היקינטון בגננו הקטון לילה לילה מסתכלת הלבנה. ואומרת הלבנה לעננים תנו טיפה ועוד טיפונת לגנים שיפרח היקינטון בגננו הקטון כך אומרת הלבנה לעננים. בא הגשם וצלצל בחלוני שר ניגון עליז לפרח בגני וענה היקינטון בשמחה ובששון למטר אשר צלצל בחלוני. ומחר נצא כולנו אל הגן ונראה שם את הפרח הלבן, ולכבוד היקינטון, בני ישיר את הפזמון ושמחה גדולה מאוד תהיה בגן.

My best translation of last stanza:

And tomorrow we'll all go out into the garden

And we'll see there the white flower

And in honor of the hyacinth, my boys will sing the chorus

And there will be great joy in the garden.